Let's Do The Time Warp
by drookit duck
Summary: COMPLETE! ;- What happens when time loses order? Chaos. What happens when Vampires have control of time? Utter chaos. Who's in control? Spike.
1. Kittens and puppy dogs

**Let's Do The Time Warp**

**By Hani**

Chapter 1 - Kittens and Puppies

It was first light of morning by the time Angelus and Drusilla returned. Spike could hear them laughing as they made their way merrily home after an exciting night's hunting.

"I can still taste the little girl!" Drusilla giggled happily, "She had such a nice little kitten wif' her, it would've been cruel to leave it." She smiled, stroking the small creature in her arms.

"Did you see me with the father?" Angelus asked, his voice full of bravado.

"Ooh, how he begged!" Drusilla laughed gleefully, " _'Let me go! Please!'_ It makes it more fun when they beg!"

"It does." Angelus agreed, "But you have such a way with them, Drusilla, they don't suffer long." he grunted like a beast in her ear and she snarled back.

"Not unless I want them to." she sighed.

Angelus opened the door and let Drusilla pass through first. She giggled.

"Always a gentleman, my Angel."

"And what have we here?" Spike asked as they entered the room in which he sat, smoking a cigarette in his wheelchair. "It's getting light out."

"Don't worry, roller-boy." Angelus sneered, walking past Spike.

"We brought you a present!" Drusilla chirped, holding up the mewing kitten, "But he doesn't have a name." she pouted.

"Not another bloody pet, Dru." Spike said, "You kept that damn puppy for three days before you finally ate it."

Drusilla let her bottom lip quivver, and she whimpered, "I brought it for you, luv." she stepped nearer, keeping a pathetic hurt look on her face.

"I don't want it." Spike growled, "I'll get something for myself later."

"Come on," she said holding the kitten out to him, "You need to eat somethin'."

He pushed himself away from her, "I will not be fed." he snarled.

Drusilla pouted again, "You hurt my feelings, nasty boy."

Spike sighed. It angered him how much Dru affected him. But she did.

"I'm sorry, Pet." he said, "I'm a mean man."

Drusilla smiled again and placed the kitten in his lap.

"The moon was strong tonight." Dru chimed, "And the stars were singing a deadly song." she closed her eyes and swayed, "And..." she stopped and sat down on her knees, her eyes closed, "There's a jewel." she began to sway with the vision.

"A jewel?" Angelus asked, returning to the room.

"What kind of jewel, Pet? What do you see?" Spike asked watching Drusilla intently.

"It's an emerald." Dru cooed, "It calls to me! It promises power."

"What kind of power? Where is the emerald?" Angelus asked taking Dru's hand.

"It can change the future. It can change the past." Drusilla gasped, "It promises that we will get it!" she giggled like a child getting handed a lollipop.

"Where is it, Dru? Where's the emerald?" Angelus pushed, "Who has it?"

Dru's smile faded and she opened her eyes, "The Slayer!"

Angelus grinned, straightening up, "Well, we'll just have to pay her a visit then."


	2. Happy Hunting

chapter 2 - Happy Hunting

"Don't you think this is rather stupid?" Spike demanded, trying to keep up with Angel who was stroming away towards the door.

"Why do you care?"

"Because, you're taking Dru with you." Spike growled.

"I like it when you worry 'bout me, Spike, my love." Drusilla sighed. They reached the door and Spike stopped, glowering at Angelus.

"You wanna come, Pet?" Dru asked Spike.

"No." Angelus said, "We're on a mission tonight, can't afford to be weighed down." he turned to Spike, "You know how it is."

Spike scowled as he watched them leave.

"I know just how it bloody well is, mate." he said angrily.

They again returned late, though this time not in such high spirits.

"Did your mission not go so well then, OO7?" Spike smirked as a battered-looking Angelus stormed in. "Nice bruise, mate!" Spike sneered, "Not quite an emerald though, is it?"

Drusilla came in stomping her feet. "The nasty girl hurt my Angel and didn't give us the nice prize." she complained. She picked up the kitten from the floor and looked at it face to face, "Thomas is very upset, aren't you thomas?"

"So you names him then." Spike said, turning the page of the newspaper he was reading.

"Yes." Drusilla said, "Thomas." She offered the cat to Spike, "Want a bite?"

Spike turned away from the kitten.

"You haven't eaten in day, my pet." Drusilal said stroking the kitten. Then her eyes lit up and she turned to Angelus, "Maybe we bring Spike wif' us tomorrow, when we go for dinner."

Angelus turned around. "I don't think so, Dru. If sit-and-spin here doesn't want to eat what he's given, then I think he should be made to go without."

Drusilla pouted and stroked her hand down Spike's cheek, "Please. Angel, let him come wif' us. He might be useful."

Spike watched Angelus think this over, he imagined he could see the coggs at work inside his skull. Then a smile spread over Angel's features.

"Yes, Dru. You're right. Perhaps he could be useful. Perhaps he could be our meal ticket." he walked over and put his hands on Spike's shoulders, "Maybe we might even get _you_ something to eat."

They left through the garden exit when it was dark, which meant the obstacle of stairs. This, of course, resulted in having to lift Spike up them.

They first headed towards a small bar. Angelus reckoned that there would be some nice easy prey inside.

"What with you being handicapped now and everything, thought it would be better to start slowly."

To this remark Spike had decided not to react. He intended to prove his Grandsire wrong, and hunt for himself. _'Just to wipe the smarmy smile from the sod's face.'_

They enetered the open door, into a badly lit room.

"Do you even have any money?" Spike asked as Drusilla pushed him towards a table nearby.

"Damn." Angelus said, pretending to search his pockets, "You know, I don't. Would you mind?"

Spike groaned, glaring angrily at Angel as he pulled a few notes from his coat pocket. He handed Angelus the money roughly and pulled out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter which he then placed on the table.

Drusilla seated herself next to him, smoothing out the creases in her gown.

Angelus pocketed Spike's change at the bar and returned with the drinks.

Spike glanced around; in one corner were four young women, one of them, a blonde, caught his eye and smiled. In the other corner was a table with only a couple sitting at it. They kept leaning forward and kissing.

Spike sighed and turned back to Dru.

"No one you fancy, Pet?" she asked.

"What's happened to society today?" Spike said, "Never any decent people about."

"Well, Spike, you'll just have to be less picky." Angelus snapped, "You'll have whoever I get for you."

Spike growled and turned to face Angel, "I can hunt for myself, _Angelus_."

Angelus laughed,

"What? Like you can _walk_ by yourself? And get _upstairs_ by yourself? Oh. _Wait_-"

"Listen you-" Spike began, but he trailed off due to the sudden presence of the young blonde woman he'd noticed earlier. She smiled casually at them all, her gaze sticking on Spike with an expression of pity and sympathy.

"Has he been paralysed long?" she asked, more to Angelus than to Spike or Drusilla.

Spike made to speak but Angel put his hand on his shoulder, squeezing his nails painfully into Spike's flesh.

"No." Angelus said, "Just recently, I'm afraid. Terrible, isn't it?"

"And so young too." the woman said, looking at Spike in deep sympathy.

Spike snorted but Angelus slapped his back hard turning this into a cough, which made the woman look more anxious for him.

"Yes." said Angel, "Cut down in his prime. So to speak." he relaxed his grip on Spike but did not take his hand away from his shoulder.

Spike exhaled and looked away from the woman; she was watching him intently - he didn't like it.

"How did it happen?" she asked, again directing the question to Angelus.

"A horrible accident." Angel said, in an attempt to sound caring, "Poor boy was crippled."

"That's a nice dress." Drusilla cooed, now bored with the conversation and admiring the satin gown that the woman wore. "Look how it shimmers." she said watching the material, "In the light." she smiled eerily, stroking the handle of Spike's wheelchair. "Can I get a dress like that?" she asked.

"Yes, luv." Spike said reaching back to touch her hand, "I'll get you a dress _just_ like that."

Dru clapped her hands gleefully.

"Sssh." Angelus said, again squeezing Spike's shoulder, "Conserve your energy, Spike. You know how weak you get."

Spike scowled.

The woman looked anxiously at Angelus and then at Spike, as if she expected him to collapse at any time. She knelt down beside him, taking his hand.

"Yes." Angelus continued, now speaking to the girl, "He barely eats a thing, you know. Never touches a thing we put in front of him."

Dru nodded in agreement, "Poor baby, doesn't get out much anymore." she said gazing into space.

Spike sighed impatiently and tried to remove his hand from the blonde woman's grip, but she kept hold and stroked it with her own.

"I bet it's horrible." she said, for the first time speaking directly to Spike, instead of over his head.

"Yes. I'm sure it's hell." Angel said, removing his hand from Spike's shoulder as he made his way around behind the woman.

Spike watched his Grandsire angrily.

The woman continued to gaze at Spike, obviously overcome with pity for this _'poor helpless creature' _whom she saw before her.

The woman was leaning closer now. Spike could smell the scent of her flesh underneath her over-powering perfume. She was his victim. He had decided. Angelus was not to get her.

The room had slowly emptied, and now it was only them and one or two bar staff who were too busy to notice such a small group.

Angel was bending down ready to bite. Spike noticed him closing in on her and quickly snatched her close. The woman squealed in shock but when she looked up, it was to see Spike's vampire visage smiling down at her. She made to scream, but by then he'd sunk his fangs into her throat and the scream died. (along with her.)

He felt her warm blood flow into his mouth, he could feel her energy. It was ecstasy. He could feel her life ebbing away. He savoured the taste. He savoured the smell.

Angelus scowled and folded his arms.

"She was _mine_." he said angrily.

"In case you hadn't noticed, you great wanker," Spike said wiping his mouth and lifting the corpse of the woman onto his knee, "she was more interested in me."

Dru clapped her hands again and bounced with excitement.

"Does me proud!" she laughed, "Was she yummy, Spike?"

"Yes, Pet." he lifted his bloodstained hand up to her and she licked his fingers.

"I promised you that dress, and you shall have it, my love." he said.

They began to leave Drusilla pushing Spike who had the corpse of the dead girl on his knee. A hungry Angelus moodily leading the way.


	3. Dirty Dealings

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters except from Kayla or any other people you don't recognise. Don't sue me, I have _nothing._**

chapter 3 - Dirty Dealings

"There's much more to this sympathy thing than you'd think." Spike said as Dru twirled around, posing for him in her new dress and humming a violent little tune to herself.

"Yeah, is that so, roller boy?" Angelus grunted, "Well while you got yourself a nice little meal, me and Dru had to go without. You can't even hunt alone. In order to feed _you_," he came closer to Spike, glaring menacingly at him as he yelled, "we have to help you and then think about hunting for ourselves!"

"Bugger off, you great tit!" Spike snarled pushing himself away from Angel. He wheeled himself towards the door snatching up a newspaper from the table. "If you were on this side of the fence, mate, you'd bloody well understand!"

"Well I wasn't stupid enough to go get myself crushed by an organ!" Angelus yelled.

Spike stopped and turned to look at him angrily, "Well I wasn't the one poncing about for years, wailing and crawling like filth. I wasn't the one, stupid enough to get a bleedin' soul!" and with that Spike wheeled himself out of the room.

"That wasn't my fault!" Angelus bawled, like a little boy in a bad mood, through the open door.

"Well this, bloody hell, wasn't mine!" Spike yelled back, disappearing from view.

"You shouldn't tease!" Drusilla hissed at Angelus. She lifted her skirts and followed after Spike.

She found him in the next room, reading.

"What do y'know," Spike said sarcastically as she entered, "Our team lost." he folded up the newspaper and threw it roughly over the room.

"Oh, what's wrong, my pet?" Drusilla asked, gliding over to him. She bent down and stroked his cheek, "He doesn't mean it, Spike, he's only angry because of the Slayer. She upsets him...and she still has my present." she bent down and kissed him.

"We'll get the emerald for you." Spike promised, "And we'll bring the Slayer too, all tied up and bleeding."

"Such things you say." Drusilla cooed, "I-" she stopped, holding her head as if it were going to explode. She straightened up, staring at the balcony with wild eyes.

"Dru?" Spike asked following her gaze.

"You having another vision, Dru?" Angelus asked striding into the room, apparently over his earlier strop.

"No, you dolt," Spike said, turning to glower at his Grandsire, "The Slayer's on the balcony."

"Yeah! That's right!" an over excited Xander shouted from above the vampires, "And she's gonna kick your ass!" he paused, "Uh...asses!" he added.

A crossbow dart shot down, swooshing past Drusilla making her hair fly back. The dart hit into the wall behind and shattered.

"Why are you here?" Angelus called, "You never learn!" he laughed, "You can't win. Anyway, we haven't done anything....lately."

"Just give us the emerald that you stole and I'll not stake you..._too_ slowly." Buffy yelled down, pointing the loaded crossbow at her ex.

"What?" Spike said, "We don't have your bloody emerald."

"Don't play games!" Buffy shouted, "We know that's what you were after and we know that you took it last night!" she shot the dart in Spike's direction, he lifted his hand just in time as it hit into the armrest of his chair.

"Yeah!" Xander called, "We know what it does!"

"Uh-yeah!" Willow added, "We-we did research!"

Buffy reloaded the crossbow pointing it at Angel again as Dru and Spike left quietly.

Angelus laughed, "We know what it does too." he said, "But we've not got it."

Buffy began to descend the stairs still holding the crossbow.

Angelus backed away a little.

"Angel." Buffy said she dropped the crossbow and brought out a stake instead.

"Always the traditional way." Spike said quietly, Dru nodded.

Buffy edged closer to Angel, he stood his ground.

"I know you've got it." she said, her voice wavering a little, "I know you're gonna use it to meddle with the future."

"You know, you're not wrong." Angelus snickered, "I was. But obviously someone beat me to it."

Buffy stopped advancing to think about what he'd just said, and Drusilla darted out from behind the Slayer. But just as she made to knock her out, Buffy spun around and staked her.

Spike yelled out and Drusilla stumbled backwards looking in horror at the wooden stake protruding through her chest, she looked up at Angel and Buffy before falling to dust on the floor.

"You bitch!" Spike yelled coming into view.

Buffy ignored him turning back to Angel, just in time to get a fist in the face. The Slayer stumbled back, unconscious, onto Spike.

"Buffy!" Willow shouted, as Xander dragged her away.

"We've gotta go for help. We can't take those two on ourselves." he said as they made a hasty exit.

"What are we gonna do with her?" Spike asked, looking at the Slayer who was on his lap.

"We're going to use her to get what we want." Angel said.

"We need to to get Dru back."

When Buffy awoke it was to find herself in a box. At first she thought it was a coffin, but she soon realised it was a crate. She could feel herself being moved as if she were in a van (which was totally correct, 'cause she was.).

She thumped about a bit, trying to find the lid, but to her dismay, found that she could not break out of the box.

The van stopped suddenly and the box slid across the floor and hit off the driver's seat. Buffy then became aware that someone had got out.

"Hello?" she asked out.

"Oh. You're awake, are you, Slayer?" asked a voice which she recognised as Spike's.

"What the hell is this?" she said angrily.

"It's a box." Spike answered.

"I hate you." Buffy growled, trying to determine from where he was speaking.

"It's payback, Slayer." Spike continued, "You staked Drusilla, and I intend to get her back."

"How?" Buffy asked, deciding to keep him talking while she thought of a means of escape.

"We're gonna see the wizard." Spike laughed, "In the Emerald, bloody, city, ain't we?"

"So, what? You're gonna swap me for the emerald?"

"Yep. You got it, girly." Spike snorted, "The stupid Wanker's off making the deal. In fact here he comes now."

Buffy heard the van door open and felt the box being lifted out.

"Don't people deal in cash anymore these days?" said the demon whom Angel had struck the deal with.

"Sign of the times." Angelus retorted, he helped the demon get the crate-o-Slayer out of the van. "Now, _friend_, my emerald?"

The demon put his hand into his pocket and produced the green, glinting jewel.

"T'is nothing fancy, just thought it'd make a good price is all." the demon said handing it over, "Saw the fuss you and your's were making over it and decided to have a try at it myself, y'know?"

Angel half-smiled and held the jewel up to the street light, "Well, I'd say you got a great deal with it, here." he tapped the crate and the top fell open. The demon looked down at the Slayer.

"Wow. The Slayer." he reached in and pulled her out, but Buffy head-butted him and threw him back, making an escape.

"Damn." Angel said to the demon, who was slowly getting back to his feet, "She got away. You know, that's the worst with Slayers, didn't I mention? They're really strong and they escape really easy." he walked back to the van door, "Thanks for the jewel, though." he called getting in.

"Are we done?" Spike asked as Angel started the motor, "Only I'd rather be home for the bloody sunrise."


	4. There should always be a bloody instruct...

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters except from Kayla or any other people you don't recognise. Don't sue me, I have _nothing._**

Chapter 4 - There Should Be An Instruction Manual

"Alright, now what happens?" Spike asked as Angel looked at the jewel, "That's the worst with these bloody things, you never get an instruction manual in English."

Angelus groaned and threw the jewel at Spike, snatching up a book from the floor.

"You know, this thing's dirty as hell." Spike said, "What did that demon do? Drop it down the bloody sewers?" he rubbed the emerald with the sleeve of his shirt. The emerald suddenly clouded black and began to heat up. "Uh, Angel?"

Angel looked up from the magick book, "What now, Spike?" he said impatiently.

The emerald was so hot, Spike could feel it scalding his hands, he tried to throw it violently at Angel, but it seemed glued to his fingers. Smoke was surrounding them now and Spike writhed in pain, as the room began to spin.

"What the bloody hell's it doing?" he yelled.

Suddenly the room stopped spinning and the emerald instantly cooled, it unstuck from Spike's hand leaving an angry-looking wound.

Spike blew on his hand and threw the jewel angrily at Angel, who pocketed it.

"What, the hell, just happened?"

Angel held a hand up to silence him, "Wasn't it light outside?"

"What?" Spike said, still cradling his wounded hand, "Yeah....now you mention it, it _was_ light outside." he said noticing the darkness surrounding them.

"I think it worked." Angel said standing up and walking towards the door.

Just then Drusilla entered wearing the dress that Spike had taken from the dead blonde woman.

She twirled in it gleefully, "Isn't it pretty, Spike?"

She began to hum the violent little tune she had hummed before.

"Ever get that feeling, when you've-" Spike began.

"Been there before?" Angelus finished.

A noise from the next room caught the attention of the vampires.

"Slayer." Spike whispered.

They made their way into the room, to find Buffy and her cronies there.

"Damn it, we should've been here earlier." Angelus said.

"What's that, my Angel?" Dru asked pushing Spike in (he couldn't push himself due to his wounded hand, else he'd end up going in circles.) "Ooh, look at that!" she said pointing to Buffy, "She brought us a present." Drusilla laughed watching the crossbow in the Slayer's hands, "Get me it, Angel. I want the pretty weapon." she looked at Angel suggestively, "For later." she added with a bark.

Spike cringed as a bolt of hatred of Angel ran through him.

Buffy, toting the crossbow, stepped forward, "Give me the-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, the bloody emerald. We get it." Spike said.

Buffy looked a little taken aback.

"See we don't have it." Angel said, "Well I say we don't have it, what I mean is we _do_, but you're not getting it."

"You got the prize?" Drusilla asked, even more in the dark than usual, "But-"

"Ssh, luv, we got it as a suprise." Spike whispered.

Drusilla giggled excitedly, "Angel got it for me?"

Spike gritted his teeth, "Yes, luv. _Angel _got it for you."

Buffy shot one of the darts at Angel and it narrowly missed him, she loaded it again and managed to slice it into his arm. Angelus ignored this and advanced on her. The Slayer punched him in the face, but made for Drusilla. Spike grabbed her by the arm and Buffy turned around to look at him.

"Don't you touch her." he said darkly.

"You gonna stop me?"

Angelus recovered from the blow to the jaw and came up behind Buffy as she stared at Spike. He hit her in the back of the head sending her to the ground. Drusilla bent down to look at the Slayer.

"Oooh....can I have a taste, Angelus?" she asked sweetly.

"Don't touch her!" Xander shouted as he and Willow descended the stairs.

"Oh for the wrath of God!" Angelus shouted punching Xander out of the way. The boy stumbled to his feet and grabbed Angel around the neck as Willow picked up a wooden chair from the corner and began to batter the vampire with it. Dru made to help, but Spike held her back.

"Don't spoil it, pet. He's doing so well." he said, grinning evilly.

Buffy got to her feet, unnoticed by anyone else and grabbed Drusilla by the throat. Dru made a squeal that caught Angel and Spike's attention.

Xander let his grip loosen on Angel and was thrown into the wall and Willow was given the same treatment.

"Give me the emerald and I'll spare her." Buffy said, holding the wooden crossbow dart at Dru's heart.

"What if I don't?" Angelus enquired, dropping the chair to the ground.

"I kill her, and then Spike....and then you."

"Why don't you just kill him?" both Angel and Spike said pointing at one another.

Buffy sighed and nodded impatiently for the jewel.

"No." Angelus said, he reached inside his pocket and brought out the jewel. It had begun to heat already and it began to singe his flesh instantly. The room began to swirl, but Buffy threw the dart at Angel just before the room began spinning and he turned to ashes.

It was light outside. Spike had suddenly just become aware that the room had stopped spinning. In fact he was in a different room. He looked at his hand; it had healed. He turned around to see Drusilla sitting behind him on a stone table.

"What happened?"

"The emerald moved us forward in time." Dru said airily.

"And Angelus?" Spike asked, supressing a grin as he did so.

"He's ashes." Dru said.

"And the emerald?" Spike asked, moving towards her.

Dru held out her clenched hand, and opened it to reveal the emerald.

"Everything's worked out!" Spike said.

Dru looked at him.

Spike coughed, "Er rather....you know, except for tall-dark-and-broody....but we'll move on, huh?"

"It burns." Dru said clenching her fingers over the emerald again as smoke began to surround her hand.

"Oh bollocks." Spike groaned, "Too good to be true."


	5. Let's do the time warp, again!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters except from Kayla or any other people you don't recognise. Don't sue me, I have _nothing._**

Chapter 5 - Let's Do The Time Warp Again 

The next moment they found themselves back in the room again, Buffy had Drusilla by the throat and Angel had just thrown Xander and Willow into the wall. This time he advanced on the Slayer.

"I'll do it!" Buffy warned gripping tighter onto Dru.

Angel reached inside his pocket, only to find that the emerald was no longer there. He looked up confused.

"Give me the jewel." Buffy said.

Angelus looked at Spike suspiciously, and then said to Buffy, "I don't _have_ it."

"Give me it, Angel!" Buffy shouted, there was a tear running down her cheek as she shouted at the man who wore the face of her lover.

"I don't have it." Angelus repeated angrily.

Buffy pointed the crossbow at him and fired, but Angelus ducked the dart. Dru took her chance and

escaped from the Slayer's grip. Buffy kicked the female vamp, but was returned with a sharp blow to the stomach. Angelus ran forward and knocked her down, pummeling her in the face. Buffy kicked him off of her over her head and made towards Dru. Dru swayed as the Slayer neared her then brought the emerald out from behind her back smiling eerily. She tossed it in the air and Spike caught it, holding it firmly in his hand.

The emerald began to heat up.

"Bloody hell." Spike complained as it seared his flesh. The room swirled, and this time no one was killed.

"All this skipping around's giving me a bloody migraine." Spike groaned as they found themselves in the garden.

"It's night time again." Drusilla pointed out holding her hands out as if she were catching invisible rain drops.

"Only just." Angelus said, "The sun's about to come up." He took Dru by the hand and led her inside, "Come on sit-and-spin." he shouted back over his shoulder to Spike.

Spike looked down at his hand to see another ugly wound. He took hold of the wheels of his chair, and grimacing with the pain wheeled himself indoors.

"This bloody thing's more trouble than it's worth." Spike said tossing the jewel to Angel.

Angelus held the glinting green glass-like object up to his face, "What d'ya suppose it's worth?"

"Nothing, I'd wager, probably not even a real emerald." Spike said, blowing on the palm of his hand.

Drusilla lifted the folds in her dress and seated herself on Spike's lap.

"Here, Dru, you can put it on a necklace or something." Angelus said handing Drusilla the emerald. She ran it down Spike's cheek, "I could do anything with this." she said, "I could go back to when I was human. I could be the mistress of time. I could make the stars bow down and sing for all to hear!" she lifted Spike's wounded hand up to her mouth and licked the wound, "I could sire you again, my love."

"Or not." Angelus added.

Spike threw him a dirty look.

She wrapped her fingers tightly around the glittering green rock, it began to heat up and the room began to spin familiarly. The smell of Dru's flesh burning.

They found themselves in the same room. It was early morning and in Drusilla's arms she held the small kitten.... they were back at the beginning...

The end?


End file.
